we have officially lost it.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
