Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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