Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
