I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize