The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
