you would pick up someone in the library
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
