They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
