One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
