i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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