Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
