i was born a porn star she said
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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