what day is it and did you see me today?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Two words: blizzard sex
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
