Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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