I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
