The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
