if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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