Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I AM VODKA MAN
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
