I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
