why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
