we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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