So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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