Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
