I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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