remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
