By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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