There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
