I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize