I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
My Sexting was not on an AP level
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
