Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
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