my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
My life is pants optional.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
