I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
