do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
