If i come over, it means nothing
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize