its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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