Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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