my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
