Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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