shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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