"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
