we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Pants are for mortals
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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