if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
All I want is dick and wine.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
