At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
