Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
third nipple confirmed
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
