Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Last time i carry you out of a forest
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
