dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
