I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
