I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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