is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
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He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
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can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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