booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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