I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
