Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
