Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
this just has baby written all over it
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
