They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
