I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize