I'm so fucking centered right now
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
