Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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